NASHVILLE, Tenn. — It was 3:42 a.m. in North Carolina when Bubba Wallace’s best friend celebrated winning the nation’s first NASCAR championship in Arizona.
Wallace could have stayed there and partied with Ryan Blaney, but instead he went straight home and sat alone in the dark. Wallace was a disappointment despite having just come off the best season of his career.
He posted a note on social media titled “Life” in which he tried to explain his feelings and why he took the five-hour flight home in silence.
“I’m sitting here on my couch wondering everything,” he posted. “You would think that if your buds won the championship, that joy and excitement would come back. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case.
“What’s really frustrating is the feeling of helplessness,” Wallace continued. “My wife knows I’m on vacation, but I don’t know why I’m feeling this way or why she can help me. Staring at a blank wall. I’m with you in my peeps. Tomorrow is tomorrow’s wind. Another time. Chase it.”
He concluded by quoting Kendrick Lamar’s line, “We’re going to be okay.”
Almost a month later, Wallace has bounced back and is celebrating both the best season of his Cup career in Nashville as well as a milestone Cup title by Blaney. The two grew up together in North Carolina racing locally and share a strong bond.
Blaney wasn’t surprised that Wallace was absent from the Phoenix Raceway Championship afterparty, but after learning of Wallace’s social media posts, he reached out.
“He called me a few days later and was like, ‘Hey, I guess I got depressed because you won the championship.'” It’s like congratulations, but I don’t want to see that. ” Wallace recalled Thursday morning, hours before Blaney was honored at the season-ending NASCAR awards ceremony in Nashville.
Wallace said Blaney quickly hit back to remind Wallace that Blaney felt exactly the same way in 2020 when his good friend Chase Elliott won the title. Wallace reached the playoffs for the first time this year, finishing 10th, his career-high ranking. However, he was winless after scoring cup wins in both 2021 and 2022.
“That’s kind of Bubba’s personality. I know he’s very hard on himself,” Blaney said Thursday. “He’s so hard on himself that you try to hug him, right? The other night I said to him, ‘Hey, you did a good job.’ 10th in points, you did well in the playoffs. Well, he didn’t win, but I mean he had a great year. ”
Still, he can empathize with how his contemporaries have undermined drivers’ individual successes.
“It’s part of watching your friends do it, and it’s another part to see young guys your age,” Blaney said. “When Chase won the championship in 2020, he and I are really great friends and I was so happy for him. But I was also a little jealous because I wanted to be that guy too. . I want to be there.
“You always compare yourself to your own age group. You get jealous of people in your group who are successful,” he continued. “And I’m the same way. I think everyone has something inside, whether they express it or not.”
Wallace put that into practice, and also touched on his long-standing struggle with mental health. Michael Jordan, NASCAR’s only full-time black driver at the national level, has garnered a lot of attention during his 30 years driving the heavily sponsored No. 23 Toyota at 23XI Racing.
Team co-owner Denny Hamlin said Jordan’s influence on Wallace stabilized Wallace’s emotional roller coaster, which helped him develop into a team leader last season.
“Where he was in 2022 was much more difficult to manage because he was focused on damage control. Maybe he would say it in the media, but on the back end to get it right.” We’re going to have to do some work on that,” Hamlin said. “Michael stepped in and voiced his opinion and really helped Bubba step up as a leader.”
Wallace has not said whether he is receiving professional treatment for his mental health, but said Thursday that he relied on his wife through this latest game. He and Amanda will celebrate their one-year wedding anniversary on New Year’s Eve, and Hamlin says Wallace is doing well in Nashville.
“I wake up and my wife is there. She’s like, ‘How are you feeling today?’ And it’s like sometime,” he said. “We keep each other on our toes. We play video games together. So she’s a big help. And the next thing you know, the clock says 5 o’clock and she says, ‘How are you doing?’ It’s like, “What?” And I’m fine. It’s kind of blown away.
“I know for a lot of people it’s not that easy. It goes on for days and days and weeks. But you know, the grass is always greener when the sun comes up.”