Dear Santa
I write on behalf of all Philadelphia sports fans. As the holiday season approaches, we thought it would be important to review the basics and see where we are on the list.
To the outside observer, you might think that Philadelphia fans are a regular on the naughty list, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. we are good people Loyal and passionate fans. Incredibly dedicated. And don’t forget, in August we gave Trea Turner a season-changing standing ovation.
We deserve good things…for goodness sake.
So let’s say you’ve gotten to the good side of the sheet…can I have a look at your wishlist? It’s definitely the opposite of excessive and not crazy at all (source: trust me).
Some are to help the team and some are just for fun. That’s what Christmas is all about, right? A little practicality, a little fun, and a lot of magic. (For some of these, you may really need the last part.)
Listen, we’ve been through a lot this year. Our entire team was heartbroken at every stage of the game. please listen:
I think that’s pretty reasonable, right?
Oh, and if you don’t ask too much… *probably* trophies and parades. However, we leave it up to you to choose which team. The whole element of surprise and all that.
thanks again,
philadelphia fans
PS It would be great if the national media could be told to stop bringing up the snowman incident from 50 years ago. We’ve been trying to tell them ourselves, but what we say never gets through.